stressball

18 11 2008

I’m studying for the USMLE Step 1, a very important exam.  All I need is a clear head.  But all I hear is nagging.  About my weight.  It’s true, I do have a problem controlling my food intake.  But I don’t need to hear somebody tell me about it every day.  I don’t like having to share a bed with someone who doesn’t respect my personal space.  I don’t like the my times of weakness during these stressful times.  I hate that I don’t have my own money because I don’t earn.  I don’t hear one bit of kindness from you, not a compliment.  I hate that you shush me when I sing as if I have a horrible voice.  I hate that you make me feel ungrateful when all I do is for you and everybody else.  Give me a reason to enjoy your company.  Tough love is love, but darn it hurts so bad.

If you think I failed you so much, then let me just walk away and let me face my problems on my own.  If you’re not gonna cheer me on then just leave.  If you’re gonna make me hate myself enough to wake up in the morning with a frown on my face…

Then let’s just not talk at all.

You are so insensitive about my feelings that I had to write all of my frustrations down in a blog instead of talking to you because I know you won’t listen.  All the world saw what I feel in this blog.  All except you.  Why do you spend time with me at all if you’re just gonna criticize me like I am going to make a mistake by just breathing?

Great, you made me hate myself for hating you.  I want to be close to you but you keep on doing things that make me regret trying to be nice.

I don’t know why I even tried.





personal space

13 11 2008

We all need personal space don’t we?  Personal space keeps me alive and sane.  Invade it and I go crazy.  I don’t mind hanging out with people.  Some say that I am even open about what I do with myself.  But when people start telling me what to do all the time especially when it’s about what I do with my life and my own body then that’s stepping over the line.  People don’t tell me what to write on my blog.  Because it is also my personal space.  I keep things honest without hurting other people in the process.

Sometimes I just wanna be alone.

I am human, I long for companionship.  But I also love quiet moments.  And I love the power of turning on my speakers in full blast and singing without anybody shushing me.

Right now I do not have personal space at all.  Dammit I don’t even have my own bed.

I love studying in the library.  You know why?  Not because I am alone there, because trust me, people will come.  But because when I am in the library I am there, with people around me, but with nobody telling me to do stuff.  It’s like in the library I have a bubble.

Even in my old dorm, where I lived with 3 other people we each have our own bubble.  We talk to each other once in a while, we even go out together.  But we all have our personal schedules that we stick by.

I am not perfect. I need to shape up.  But all I need is encouragement.

WRONG: “You should walk later! Your getting too fat!”

RIGHT: “Good job on eating just half a cup of rice this lunch time. Maybe you should walk later so you can burn more calories!”

MORE WRONG: “Maybe surgery is your only hope.”

Now that’s just giving up on my abilities altogether.

I need a reminder that I am still capable of taking care of myself.  If I am not, then I guess I can’t be trusted in taking care of other people and quit medicine altogether.

I need to get a job.

I need to earn my own money.

I need to earn money to support my family.

I need a place of my own.

I need my personal space back.





new season

10 11 2008

Sorry guys, no more sad/funny internship stories from me!  As most of you know I passed the Philippine Boards and I am now studying for the USMLE (United States MEdical Licensure Exam) Step 1, which contains 1st year and 2nd year subjects.  I’ve been on vacation for months and now I am back to studying everyday.  My exam is in 2 months.  It’s been hard going back to reading the books, good thing my classmate gave me some videos which are definitely easier to study.  I’m beginning to like living in the US.  I miss my friends and relatives a lot, but because of the internet, I get to talk to them at least once a week.  So who knows what will happen in this new season?





Review: Art’s Cream Gallery

19 09 2008

What guides us in choosing our favorite food and restaurants? Our senses. A food that looks inedible, no matter how delicious it may really be, will not reach our palates. All of our senses must be convinced, or else we will not be able to enjoy the meal adequately.

Avocado

In my unending search for delicious delicacies, I spotted a new oasis which sprouted in the middle of Robinson’s Place Midtown at Ermita, Manila. Properly named, Art’s Cream Gallery, not only does it provide mouth watering meals, but it provides food for the eyes as well. Art’s Cream Gallery specializes in my favorite dessert: ice cream! It’s ice cream is made by its sister company, Fiorgelato.

The ice cream café provides an atmosphere that makes you think that you are in a spa or a real oasis, with its Japanese inspired umbrellas over the red and black sleek styled sofas, tables, and chairs. They style is very minimalistic, which makes the ice cream stand out even more.

butter cookies and raspberry

butter cookies and raspberry

Take a gander at the mouth watering display of ice cream, which is not placed in the usual circular style containers. The ice cream looks so good that you hesitate to destroy it by eating it. Luckily the ice cream never runs out, so you can keep on enjoying staring at these luscious treats! Not only are the ice cream displayed like artworks, but they are also served as artworks. Designer Ice cream, shall we say.

Gelato on cone

Gelato on cone

Now I have placed so much hype on how the ice cream and the place look, but let’s get down to what’s really important – Is it delicious? If I have to rate it, then it is a perfect 10/10. I only tasted their popular flavors, Tiramisu and Vanilla with chocolate syrup, but I think they are more than enough for me.

tiramisu for me!

tiramisu for me!

vanilla with choco fudge... framed beauty

vanilla with choco fudge... framed beauty

Let me just say that while the cream was melting in my mouth all I could think of was “This is what heaven must taste like!” Hands down, this is one of the best tasting ice cream ever!

One for all

One for all

What kinds of ice cream styles can you expect from Art’s Cream Gallery? Well, there is the I Love You ice cream dedicated to couples and there is the Blooms, ice cream decorated with sugar roses for romance at any time of the year. My personal fave which I would like to try on my trip back there is the One for All, which is various ice cream flavors placed in a gigantic martini glass. I think it is best shared with a great set of friends :)

Gelato on Drama Blooms

Gelato on Drama Blooms

Art’s Cream Gallery also serves cakes, coffee, and pasta for those who want a warm up before diving into the ice cream experience.

chocolate cake

chocolate cake

sandwich overflowing

sandwich overflowing

PAsta goodness

PAsta goodness

When it comes to price, Art’s Cream Gallery is fair. 3 scoops of ice cream for 100 pesos? I think it is definitely worth it.

If you need a place of relaxation after a day’s worth of shopping, don’t go to the spa. Give your diet a break and try Art’s Cream Gallery. ^_^

Note:

Thanks a bunch to Mr. Noel Castro, Store Manager of Art’s cream gallery, for taking the time to answer my questions and for providing me with great pictures for this review. ^_^





waiting for my rocket to come (not the song)

19 08 2008

You may be wondering why I haven’t posted a new article since that infamous day when I dislocated my knee…  Well, if you are wondering what happened, I underwent 10 sessions of physical rehabilitation and now I am able to flex and extend my left knee fully.  I still have problems walking up the stairs with my busted knee but I can get up one step at a time with my right leg domineering over the other…

But the real reason why I haven’t written anything is because I have been busy this last month preparing and finally taking the Philippine Medical Board exam.  Is it a big deal?  YES you innocent passerby, it is a BIG DEAL… I left my real home in the province to stay with my friend who is also a medical student.  The board exams were held for 4 days on 2 on a saturday and 2 on a sunday… Last Sunday was the last exam, and although it made me sigh in relief, the tension has not faded at all.  According to random people, the list of passers will be posted on National Newspapers and their online counterparts by tomorrow or Thursday.  I don’t even know if I could rejoice or kill myself by tomorrow.  I am literally hanging by a thread here.

I don’t know if it’s a sign of desperation, but we heard tons of superstitions before we took the test.  I decided to apply some of them.

1. Wear red underwear – I didn’t do this, but I did notice a lot of the interns wore red shirts while taking the exam.

2. When you finish the last exam don’t look back.  Just pass your paper and leave… And give a little kick at the door – This I DID do.

3. Break the pencil you used after the exam – Done!

4. My friend Dave had a different belief with the pencil.  He said that if he fails (which won’t happen!) he is gonna break it.  If he passes, he is gonna pass the pencil to somebody else – Good idea!  But I broke mine since it was the first superstition I heard.

I know, I know it may seem ridiculous, but hey, I can’t do anything about the exam anymore, the least I can do is do all those things and PRAY.  And pray we did as well.  The day after the exam, my co-board taker, Maan, her sister Macyl, and I, went on Vicita Iglesia, as advised by their mom.  We went to 7 different churches all over Manila!  Something I have never done in my entire life.  I am sure my mom is gonna be happy I did this.

San Agustin Church

our first stop

our first stop

This church is found inside the old city of Intramuros.  If I am not mistaken, my high school class went on a field trip here once.  And my paternal grandparents had their golden anniversary here.  I really wanted to go inside but when we arrived the church was closed.  We said our silent prayers and went on our way.

Manila Cathedral

beautiful on the outside

beautiful on the outside

marvelous inside

marvelous inside

The Manila Cathedral is also found in Intramuros.  Fortunately we were able to go inside.  There were probably more foreigners going in and out of that place than Filipinos.  I felt like I was in a totally different country.

Binondo Church

Beauty amidst the hussle and bustle

Beauty amidst the hussle and bustle

the first candle lit

the first candle lit

We weren’t able to find the place were we can light candles at Manila Cathedral, but we did find a place at Binondo Church… I pass by this church all the time when my mom and I go on our occasional Divisoria trips, but I have never been in there.  Now I can say that I have.

St. Anthony de Padua

in the narrow streets near Taft Avenue

in the narrow streets near Taft Avenue

We wanted to go to our church in De La Salle, but because it was a holiday, we didn’t keep our hopes up of getting in there.  Instead we went to this church.  Unfortunately it was also closed.  But there was a statue of Mary on the side were one of the vendors said that we can light a candle.  Instead of the usual red candles we found in Binondo, here in St. Anthony, they were selling candles with different colors, each signifying the kind of things we are wishing or praying for.  We each took a pink candle, which signified success.  Then we lit the other colors:

Red for Love

Blue for Health

Green for Business/Money matters

Yellow for Strong Spirituality

Purple for High Power

Orange for Attraction

see the different colored candles? all ours!

see the different colored candles? all ours!

Church of Sto. Domingo

sto. domingo

sto. domingo

more beautiful stained glass

more beautiful stained glass

Monastery of St. Claire

st. claire's

st. claire

This place has an odd tradition.  If you want the sisters to pray for you, the donation that they want for it is not money, but EGGS.  Right outside you will find vendors selling eggs by the dozen or half dozen.  We went to this church before the exams, and now we are back for our second trip.

fountain... give us hope!

fountain... give us hope!

We also threw some coins in the fountain and made a wish… Anything… anything to make us pass!!! ^_^

Jesuit Church in Ateneo de Manila

Ateneo, ateneo... whoaa...

Ateneo, ateneo... whoaa...

Hahaha… they teased me a lot about this… Ateneo is, as they say, our RIVAL school.  Being a La Salle borne individual, I never thought that I would actually set foot in that place.  But hey come on, am I gonna let a little rivalry get in the way?  It’s not as if I was entering a non-Catholic church.  Plus, everybody knows that I am a green blooded person ^^ I played along with the teasing and pretended that I was burning as we were passing through the gates of Ateneo… hehehe… I know you’d do it if you were me ^^ This church is also called “the Spaceship” because… well… it looks like one!

holy water fountain

holy water fountain

And that was the end of our trip.  The results of the exams haven’t come out yet, although some say that it’ll be out by TOMORROW! ^_^ I am scared, excited, and going crazy… With all that studying, and praying, I can confidently say that I have done my part.





i miss bending

27 06 2008

I have no idea how I am gonna start this blog so I am just going to blurt it out and say it:  My left knee got dislocated yesterday.

June 26, 2008 | 7:50 PM

I’ve been at Maan’s house for almost a week now.  I missed working out at the gym so I suggested that we work out.  We did a few stretching exercises first and then started dancing when I got into this really unexpected event.  I was shifting my weight from one leg to the other, which really isn’t a big deal… I’ve gone to a lot of dance classes before!  So here I am, shifting my weight to my left leg when I just felt it give way.  I couldn’t stop myself from falling and so I just screamed and fell to my left side.  My left knee was obviously deformed and I didn’t make an effort to try to reduce it myself.  Maan was quick to try to find a makeshift splint for my knee.  By this time her parents and the house help were already running around trying to figure out what to do.  I couldn’t help but say sorry over and over because it was so embarrassing to bother these people with my injury.  Maan’s sister Macyl had a look of fright on her face and told me honestly that she didn’t know what to do… Maan rushed to my side as she tried pieces of wood and even a chopping board to properly fix it to my knee.   It took a lot of people who I didn’t bother to look at in embarrassment to carry me down to the first floor and into the van.

Before we left, Maan asked me if I wanted to bring something to the hospital, and all I could say was, “Bring my Surgery Recall book!”

As they drove me to St. Luke’s Hospital, I called my dad to tell him the awful news.  At first I didn’t want to call him until I came to the hospital but I knew I had to tell him eventually, plus I needed a name of a doctor that he wanted.  He was very calm when I told him and asked me to call him to report any progress.

As we were riding to the hospital, with most of the pain already disappearing, all me and Maan could talk about was what they were gonna do to my knee.  Were they going to manually reduce it or would I have to undergo surgery?  Both definitely scared me, but I guess I was braver than a lay-person would have been if he or she was in my shoes.  Lots of random thoughts were running through my head, like,

“Oh my God, this is the first time I am going to be sent to the ER as an adult” (the first time was when I was a kid and I could hardly remember that)

“Are there going to be interns interviewing me?  That’ll be cool…”

“Am I going to have to use crutches going to the boards?”

June 26, 2008 8:40 PM

We arrived at St. Luke’s Medical Center ER.  They instantly called for an ER resident and requested for a stretcher for me.  They took a quick history and got me on to the stretcher.  As they pushed my stretcher into the ER, all I could think of was “I’ve never seen the ER in this perspective.”  I’ve always been the one pushing the stretcher and looking down at the patient, and now here I am with only the ceiling in my view.  I didn’t get to see much of the ER since they immediately placed me in one spot that was covered with curtains of some sort on all sides.  They took my initial vital signs, fixed my splint and then left.  By this time we were already in a better mood.  I can’t believe they have a cushioned stretcher and a blanket for me!  Oh my gosh I have been working in a charity hospital for so long, everything else looks like luxury now.

June 26, 2008 9:00 AM

The first thing they did was to place a heplock on my arm.   This is again, my first time to officially have a heplock on.  The last time someone tried to place a heplock on me was when Maan was still practicing before clerkship started.  I was kind of disappointed because I thought an intern was going to insert the line, but a nurse did it instead.  All I could say was thank you for placing it in in one shot, I totally appreciate it.  She gave me one shot of Ketorolac through the heplock which was oddly painful even if it was given very slowly.  After the shot, we were already calling a lot of people about what happened to me.  Thanks to all of the people who called and texted :)

9:46 PM

It has been 46 minutes since I got my Ketorolac shot and I was already wondering why I haven’t been sent to the X-ray yet.  I know I was not a big priority in terms of an emergency, but I wasn’t hearing any codes happening or something like that.  I think we were overhearing that the patient next to me had a stroke, but other than that, there was no other major trauma cases going on at that time.  There wasn’t even a single clerk or intern interviewing me.  My friend told me that clerks and interns weren’t allowed to mingle with private patients.  I had to ask but then how are they supposed to learn anything?  All of the patients in St. Luke’s were private patients.  Most of the staff that I have seen so far were residents and the nurses.  I know St. Luke’s is a teaching hospital but where, I say where are the lowly clerks and interns?  I even told Maan to request that the intern or clerk be allowed to see me since I didn’t mind being interrogated by a student or something like that.  But no clerk or intern came.   Then a resident peeked into the curtains and asked, “You haven’t been x-rayed yet?”  And so a few minutes later a man came and pushed my stretcher to the radiology department.  Maan and Macyl let out there ooh’s and aah’s at the fancy couches at the waiting area at the Radiology department, which I found highly entertaining myself, as I recalled sleeping in the hard benches outside La Salle’s own Radio dep.  As the radio techs adjust my leg for the picture, they kind of unintentionally reduced my leg to its normal place.  After the x-ray we went back to our place in the ER and waited.

10:30 PM

It took almost another hour for the ER resident to come in and show me the x-ray.  I don’t think she knew that she was talking to a fellow health worker because she kept her terms very simple, which I appreciated and also found funny :)   She said, “So there are actually 3 bones on your leg plus your kneecap…” And I just kept nodding my head hehehe, so cute.  In short, my patella or kneecap was dislocated and needed to be manually reduced.  She still had to refer me to an Ortho resident and so she asked me to wait some more till he or she arrived.  She also gave me the option of getting admitted.

10:50 PM

The same nurse who gave me pain medication earlier came in and gave me Midazolam (Dormicum) to partially sedate me for the closed reduction.  In my opinion, the Midazolam hardly worked at all, but my friend told me that in some occasions I was talking like I was drunk.  She said I was talking slurred and I was talking nonsense, but all I could remember was talking to the Ortho resident who also came in at this time.  Dr. Domacena, the ortho resident, brought me to the Radio room again for additional x-rays (Skyline view).  By the time he saw my knee, it was already reduced because of all the adjusting and moving around that people did to it.  He asked me if there was any pain, and I said no, maybe because of the meds.  He asked me if I had an ortho who I can do some follow up with and I just said that I’d figure it out once I got to the province.  He then fashioned a knee immobilizer which covered my thigh up to my leg. 


11:48 PM

By this time a pharmacist came and gave me the prescription for my home medication.  It was Etoricoxib (Arcoxia (R)), a fairly common but expensive pain medication which I have to take 120 mg once a day as needed.  I was advised to keep the knee immobilizer on for 2 whole weeks.

June 27, 2008 12:10 MN

After all that, we were on our way back to Maan’s house.  All this time I thought I was finally going to be admitted, but in a lucky way, I wasn’t.  I was able to walk up the stairs to Maan’s bedroom, and I have not felt pain since the accident.

Today, the main stuff that was bothering me was how am I going to be able to take a shower without taking of the immobilizer, what are my dorrmates going to think when I return tomorrow with a broken knee, and how am I gonna get my stuff done.  I miss dancing already.

And I know I won’t be doing any of that anytime soon.  It has been a frustrating and amusing day for me.  I definitely miss flexing my knee!  It is so darn difficult to keep it straight.  And I feel awful to have to ask Maan to get stuff for me once in a while.  I told myself that maybe this is like one right of passage to become a doctor.  At least I got to experience being a patient of trauma myself before being a trauma doctor.  I still feel bad for the interns and clerks that I didn’t get to encounter.  If this happened in PGH, I would be handled by the single intern and clerk on duty, seen by the ortho resident the next day, and sleep on the floor or the metal stretcher.  My final diagnosis was: Patellar Dislocation, left.

I was so damn lucky to have gotten good service at St. Luke’s (except that I felt that things would have been done if there were clerks and interns around helping out).  It was kind of boring to be inside the ER with curtains all around me.  I wanted to see what was happening all around me!  Why wasn’t there a resident or a nurse checking me out once in a while?  I guess you can’t have it all.  But I don’t want you guys to get the wrong idea, I appreciate what the St. Luke’s staff has done for me.

Thank you so much Maan, for managing me like a pro.

Thank you Macyl for staying with me even though I know you were scared most of the time.  Sorry for making you end up eating a lot of donuts :)

Thanks to Maan’s parents for being there for me, I promise the moment I get to an ATM I will pay for the bill.  I am sorry for making you guys worry.

Thank you to the people at Maan’s house for carrying me downstairs and for driving me to the hospital.  I know it wasn’t easy.  I was crying not out of pain but of embarrassment, really.

Thank you Papa for staying calm and not yell at me for getting into this mess.  I’m gonna be home soon.

Thank you James, Zi, Mel, Johb, and Nina for the calls and text mes

sages.  ^_^

Thank you Dave for that worried voice on the phone.  I’m ok now ^_^

I know it really helped being exposed to the hospital for a long time.  I didn’t have that fear of the unknown that most people had.   Of course I never wanted to be injured, but in some way this experience surely added to my desire to work on the trauma team more than anything else.

Still, I wanna bend my knee so badly… ^_^





thanks FlapJacks!

16 06 2008

Yesterday, my dad and I were supposed to spend a normal day together… We just came from RCBC Carlos P. Romulo Auditiorium when we decided to have dinner before going home. I was confused on whether I should bring him to FlapJacks, since I promised him that I would show him the place that I am so proud about, or whether I should bring him to a new establishment to make my new review. But my instincts told me to bring him to FlapJacks anyway. To our delight, there was a Father’s day special; a free Original Hash Brown Burger was given to all dads who visited the establishment. I, on the other hand, chose the Beef Salpicao. My dad told me that he liked the Burger a lot, and I have now made the Beef Salpicao the best I have tasted among all that I have had there. We also ordered the Fruit cobbler, which was a combination of 4 scoops of vanilla ice cream, caramelized banana, and cake (We shared, mom, don’t worry about the calories hehehe). It was definitely a divine treat.

We were treated with the same great service and more! Apparently, the managers of the place already came across my blog, and so they have seen my review. They graciously offered their thanks for the review. I decided to have a picture taken with them in honor of this new friendship that we have formed ^_^ My dad generously took the picture for us.

Thank you again for the magical evening ^_^ I will be sure to come back to try everything on the menu!








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